Long Hair Story #1 (not in chronological order)

 During my lovely long hair days, ah, those days…the days I used to take so much for granted.  Yes, those days, when I used to roll out of bed and leave the house.  Those were the days!  Hair products?  Pppfff.  Make up?  Naaaah.  Deodorant?  Whatever!  I just knew I was okay walking out into the world just *being*.  Besides, I had a boyfriend, why did I wanna do any attracting?  The less the merrier was my motto.

It was a sunny Saturday and I had to drive my daughter to ballet class in North Park.  I remember meeting my boyfriend there, and as my girl was taking class, we went to the coffee shop across the street.  Boyfriend sat at the table as I got in line to order.   As I was standing there perusing the menu, I noticed a young, stocky, tattooed guy standing next to me. 

Keep in mind that I really looked like I literally rolled out of bed.  I had some oversized, black t-shirt on as well as bell-bottomed, black diagonally-striped pajama pants, and no make-up.  Not even lipstick….I mean, with my front gap-toothed smile, lipstick at least distracts.  But no, I was just *being* that day.  

“Excuse me, ma’am, I just came back from Iraq, and I just had to tell you, you are very exotic.”

I have no idea what expression dawned on my face when I heard that.  I often am very bad at hiding my true feelings (not a great trait for an actress, I’m sure).  Yes, it was a compliment, but why?  I knew full well what I did (and didn’t do) that morning, not to mention I had my younger eyesight back then, too.  Is he being for real?  Is that a pick up line?  Exotic….is that because I’m brown?  What should I say?

“Aw... thank you!  You are so kind!  And thank you for your service!”

What else am I supposed to say?  Tell him he was wrong?  Tell him I’m not exotic because I’m an American?  That he needed to go to the Gaslamp that night to get an eye full of lovely ladies who actually did the work to look good?   No, he just came back from who knows what.  And one thing I know he didn’t see while serving in the Middle East, was long, black, shiny, free-flowing  hair, albeit on some funky lady’s head.   And my lovely mane probably was the first one he had seen getting back home.  So, why should I diminish the moment with my bewildered mind?  Hey, my long hair made his day, and got me an unsolicited compliment when I felt I didn’t deserve any.   

Ah…those days….    

Hair Cutting Horror Story

When I was a youngen in Los Angeles, I had shoulder length hair.  It was cute.

 At the time, Jennifer Aniston's famous long-layered cut was all the rage, and I thought to myself that I could work that.

 This hairstyle was the goal....

Instead of heading to a fancy salon, I walked into an open Fantastic Sams.  Not to disparage all Fantastic Sams, but this is what happened to naive, little, money-saving me.

I told the stylist that I wanted layers at the end.  I mean, everyone had that hairstyle, the cut should be common knowledge among hair peeps, right?  She hardly responded to me, but I trusted she understood me.  Then she proceeded to cut my hair....pulling strands up in parts and cutting away randomly.  My hair was wet, so I couldn't really see what it looked like...until I got home.  My hair was chopped up.  I kept looking at it to make sense of it, but I couldn't.  I had to go back to get it fixed.

So, I went back and talked to a manager.  I told her my story and she looked at my hair.  She responded with "this is the second time she's done this."  Really???  The manager quickly said that she would fix my hair at no charge.  She sat me down and after looking over my hair again, she said "I have to cut it really short to even it out."  She actually brought out the clippers and shaved up my neck.  So, instead of a cool, long layered, en vogue cut, I got a chin-length bob.  Needless to say, I looked really....average.  

 

   
And when you are in L.A. trying to have that edge, this look didn't work for me.  One of my regrets in my life is that I just didn't go for it and ask for a spikey crew cut or shave it off....I probably would have been more interesting looking AND more interesting.  Plus, me wanting to save money cost me around $300 in new headshots (pictures for auditions).  I also credit this look for scaring away my ex-boyfriend.  I bet if I still had my long hair when I ran into him, he would have been groveling at my goddess feet.  Instead, he kind of looked at me strangely and seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere.

The moral of the story is this.  Take your finger and circle it around the front of your face and head like a lasso....and tell yourself "this is not where you try to save money."  Ladies, splurge.  Clockin' out, my job is done.. 



                   

I'll never do THAT again

There are some things worth damaging or cutting your hair.  For example, a formal event that requires some hair curling.  I'll plug in my 35 year-old hot rollers for the occasion.  Or let's say I am hired for a modeling shoot (it has happened...in a distant past), then I'll let the hair stylist tease, torture, and twirl my hair for a picture...only because I'm getting PAID.  Or better yet, if I get cast in a million dollar movie which requires me to play a tough bartender in the sleazy part of town and they need me to shave my head....I may oblige (yes, I'm dreaming at this point).  But I tell you, I will never, EVER spray on cheap hair color for a Halloween costume ever again!

My husband and I were Thing 1 and Thing 2 as back up for my Cat In The Hat son, and I thought it would be a good idea to save money on the wigs by finding some quick hair color.  I found this $5 spray can of blue hair color at CVS and thought to myself "wow, did I strike gold!"  Maybe the price should have been a signal, though there may be great inexpensive finds.  Or maybe the sound of that spray paint ball upon shaking was a warning (no officer, I wasn't going to tag this concrete wall, I'm going to just tag my hair.).  But more importantly, the directions to spray on hair in "a well-ventilated area, preferably outside", was a clear message that this stuff shouldn't be sprayed anywhere near a human being, much less my hair that I am desperately trying to grow.  Yeesh!

The sound you never want to hear coming from your hair is "crunch".  Hair should never be crunchy.  Ugh, my long hair organs were cringing.  It also smelled of really bad, gaseous, obsolete men's cologne.  Awful.  And look at the picture?  You can barely see the blue.  Sigh.

 I thought that spray color or a wig would be the same

But look at my picture....spray color is so lame!

 So, take it from someone who wants only the best for your growing hair.  Dish out the dough for the wig :-)