Beauty and the....

I used to have this co-worker...let’s call him Dave….because that was his name.  And he had gorgeous, naturally blond and wavy long hair.  When he took it out of his ponytail, he was the envy of all the ladies (and maybe some dudes).  I don’t have any pictures of him because we worked together during a time when people didn’t take pictures of themselves with their coworkers regularly.  But if you have ever watched Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Dave pretty much looked like the Beast after he turns back into a human.

DAVE!

He actually might have been the model for Beast according to rumors at his school, Cal Arts, a Disney school located in Valencia where most Disney animators were trained.  Read the story here, about another student who claimed her face was stolen for Disney's Pocahontas.

But, I digress. 

Dave told me how guys in neighboring cars would sidle up to his truck in L.A. traffic thinking he was a beautiful blond lady, but instead, would find the face of the Beast.  Haha!  Dude, that’s a dude, dude!  The power of that beautiful blond hair!  I have also had this experience when my hair was long; I am walking along, and some guy will be passing, having seen the length of my hair, and then turn to see my face as he is passing me.  I could sense that they need to see if the face lives up to the hair.  Well, perhaps some days I coulda been all

But probably most of the time, I was just

 

        

Long Hair Story #1 (not in chronological order)

 During my lovely long hair days, ah, those days…the days I used to take so much for granted.  Yes, those days, when I used to roll out of bed and leave the house.  Those were the days!  Hair products?  Pppfff.  Make up?  Naaaah.  Deodorant?  Whatever!  I just knew I was okay walking out into the world just *being*.  Besides, I had a boyfriend, why did I wanna do any attracting?  The less the merrier was my motto.

It was a sunny Saturday and I had to drive my daughter to ballet class in North Park.  I remember meeting my boyfriend there, and as my girl was taking class, we went to the coffee shop across the street.  Boyfriend sat at the table as I got in line to order.   As I was standing there perusing the menu, I noticed a young, stocky, tattooed guy standing next to me. 

Keep in mind that I really looked like I literally rolled out of bed.  I had some oversized, black t-shirt on as well as bell-bottomed, black diagonally-striped pajama pants, and no make-up.  Not even lipstick….I mean, with my front gap-toothed smile, lipstick at least distracts.  But no, I was just *being* that day.  

“Excuse me, ma’am, I just came back from Iraq, and I just had to tell you, you are very exotic.”

I have no idea what expression dawned on my face when I heard that.  I often am very bad at hiding my true feelings (not a great trait for an actress, I’m sure).  Yes, it was a compliment, but why?  I knew full well what I did (and didn’t do) that morning, not to mention I had my younger eyesight back then, too.  Is he being for real?  Is that a pick up line?  Exotic….is that because I’m brown?  What should I say?

“Aw... thank you!  You are so kind!  And thank you for your service!”

What else am I supposed to say?  Tell him he was wrong?  Tell him I’m not exotic because I’m an American?  That he needed to go to the Gaslamp that night to get an eye full of lovely ladies who actually did the work to look good?   No, he just came back from who knows what.  And one thing I know he didn’t see while serving in the Middle East, was long, black, shiny, free-flowing  hair, albeit on some funky lady’s head.   And my lovely mane probably was the first one he had seen getting back home.  So, why should I diminish the moment with my bewildered mind?  Hey, my long hair made his day, and got me an unsolicited compliment when I felt I didn’t deserve any.   

Ah…those days….    

Hair Cutting Horror Story

When I was a youngen in Los Angeles, I had shoulder length hair.  It was cute.

 At the time, Jennifer Aniston's famous long-layered cut was all the rage, and I thought to myself that I could work that.

 This hairstyle was the goal....

Instead of heading to a fancy salon, I walked into an open Fantastic Sams.  Not to disparage all Fantastic Sams, but this is what happened to naive, little, money-saving me.

I told the stylist that I wanted layers at the end.  I mean, everyone had that hairstyle, the cut should be common knowledge among hair peeps, right?  She hardly responded to me, but I trusted she understood me.  Then she proceeded to cut my hair....pulling strands up in parts and cutting away randomly.  My hair was wet, so I couldn't really see what it looked like...until I got home.  My hair was chopped up.  I kept looking at it to make sense of it, but I couldn't.  I had to go back to get it fixed.

So, I went back and talked to a manager.  I told her my story and she looked at my hair.  She responded with "this is the second time she's done this."  Really???  The manager quickly said that she would fix my hair at no charge.  She sat me down and after looking over my hair again, she said "I have to cut it really short to even it out."  She actually brought out the clippers and shaved up my neck.  So, instead of a cool, long layered, en vogue cut, I got a chin-length bob.  Needless to say, I looked really....average.  

 

   
And when you are in L.A. trying to have that edge, this look didn't work for me.  One of my regrets in my life is that I just didn't go for it and ask for a spikey crew cut or shave it off....I probably would have been more interesting looking AND more interesting.  Plus, me wanting to save money cost me around $300 in new headshots (pictures for auditions).  I also credit this look for scaring away my ex-boyfriend.  I bet if I still had my long hair when I ran into him, he would have been groveling at my goddess feet.  Instead, he kind of looked at me strangely and seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere.

The moral of the story is this.  Take your finger and circle it around the front of your face and head like a lasso....and tell yourself "this is not where you try to save money."  Ladies, splurge.  Clockin' out, my job is done.. 



                   

I'll never do THAT again

There are some things worth damaging or cutting your hair.  For example, a formal event that requires some hair curling.  I'll plug in my 35 year-old hot rollers for the occasion.  Or let's say I am hired for a modeling shoot (it has happened...in a distant past), then I'll let the hair stylist tease, torture, and twirl my hair for a picture...only because I'm getting PAID.  Or better yet, if I get cast in a million dollar movie which requires me to play a tough bartender in the sleazy part of town and they need me to shave my head....I may oblige (yes, I'm dreaming at this point).  But I tell you, I will never, EVER spray on cheap hair color for a Halloween costume ever again!

My husband and I were Thing 1 and Thing 2 as back up for my Cat In The Hat son, and I thought it would be a good idea to save money on the wigs by finding some quick hair color.  I found this $5 spray can of blue hair color at CVS and thought to myself "wow, did I strike gold!"  Maybe the price should have been a signal, though there may be great inexpensive finds.  Or maybe the sound of that spray paint ball upon shaking was a warning (no officer, I wasn't going to tag this concrete wall, I'm going to just tag my hair.).  But more importantly, the directions to spray on hair in "a well-ventilated area, preferably outside", was a clear message that this stuff shouldn't be sprayed anywhere near a human being, much less my hair that I am desperately trying to grow.  Yeesh!

The sound you never want to hear coming from your hair is "crunch".  Hair should never be crunchy.  Ugh, my long hair organs were cringing.  It also smelled of really bad, gaseous, obsolete men's cologne.  Awful.  And look at the picture?  You can barely see the blue.  Sigh.

 I thought that spray color or a wig would be the same

But look at my picture....spray color is so lame!

 So, take it from someone who wants only the best for your growing hair.  Dish out the dough for the wig :-)

   

Island Girl Gotta Have It!

There are a couple of ways to tell that it's hot in San Diego.  One, you can fry an egg on my head when I walk outside...and two, my monoi oil is melted.  Most people are enjoying cool, Fall weather...but not us Southern Californians!  It has been pure torture walking outside for the last few weeks.  At least I've got liquid islander luxuriousness in a bottle.

 

Let me break this down for you.  This isn't your regular coconut oil.  This oil is from Tahiti.  And see that thing at the bottom of the bottle?  It's a tiare flower....a Tahitian gardenia.  So this oil is infused with its smell.  Now, think of all the beautiful islander girls who inspired Paul Gauguin's art and writing.  I imagine these women made this oil and used it for all their natural beautifying needs for both hair and skin.

Arearea (1892) Paul Gauguin

 I have been using this oil for at least 10 years.  I just broke it out recently since taking my son to mommy-child swim lessons once a week.  The chlorine was wreaking havoc on my poor hair.  So, before class, I slather this on my hair and wrap my hair in a bun (I can wrap my hair in a low bun...yippeee!).  When I wash my hair afterwards, my hair feels smooth....totally protected from the chlorine!

I so love the divine smell of this stuff that I also use it as a skin softener, too.  Came in handy when I was pregnant and wanted to only use natural products.  You might find more processed products out there claiming to have the monoi oil in it or claiming to have the monoi fragrance....but there ain't nothing like the real thang.  And the best place to get it?  Tahiti of course!  But if you can't go there, I recommend Tahiti-Iti .com.  Rebecca, who runs Tahiti-Iti.com is awesome!  Reading her website is like vicariously traveling to Tahiti...so much current information on what is happening there!  She has the best prices, she ships quickly, and she throws in a couple of free monoi soap samples, too.  That's a good businesswoman!  Take a look around her website and learn all about the products she imports. She knows authentic Tahitian monoi :-)

Don't you love getting all my long hair secrets?  I love sharing them with you :-)

Long hair in art (from my Facebook page)

Art inspires...and those of us who want to grow long hair need all the inspiration we can get.  A guy on TV recently said that his long beard would signal to the ladies that he's a patient man.  This is also true about growing out long hair.  And you know in this technologically fast world, this is rough.  I need patience!  So, here are some #TBT pictures from my Facebook page.  I try to post weekly, however, I just got back from vacation and our regular desktop is down....so much for being technologically fast, ay?  Now, to go back to a time when painters made long hair iconic....

La Inmaculada Concepción de El Escorial by Bartolome Esteban Murillo (1660-1665)

 Reminds me of Florence!  Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli (1486)

I loved this piece in high school!  Got a poster copy from our local record store, Salzer's in Ventura.  The Mermaid (1910) by Howard Pyle.

My first trim and treatment in YEARS!

The above are the before and after pictures from my George Michael Trim and Treatment.  The important thing here to notice is not the curl, which is part of the process, but the shine.  Because of the way my hair looked when it was short, I felt the need to heat style it most of the time.  But as you can see, it did take a toll on my hair, particularly on the ends.  For those of you who would like to repair your hair so that you can continue growing it, or if you feel you just want your hair to look better whatever your length is, I highly recommend this process.  I know there are some of you out there that have naturally awesome hair (Ana, my lovely belly dancer friend), but for those of you who want a real boost to the health of your hair, this works.  Denise barely trimmed anything off the ends, which if it was probably up to me, I would have chopped off a couple of inches that I thought were dry and brittle.  This is why I love Denise....she saves my hair every time!  She looked at her records and the first time I visited her was actually in 2005!  Almost 10 years!

Now, I can't wash my hair for another couple of days...which is difficult when you work out like I do.  So, I took a break yesterday and probably will for the next couple of days, just so that I'm not totally funkafied.  I love the smell of this George Michael stuff, too.  Even after teaching NewVo, my hair still smells loveleh, IMHO.  Okay, maybe not so H.   

The bad and ugly of long hair...

Growing long hair is a major commitment.  It takes at least two years to grow hair to a length that is considered "long"...and then the long hair itself comes with its disadvantages.  Here are a few I can think of.

1. Long hair everywhere!  Ask any dude that's married to someone with long hair and they'll tell you.  Hair in the drain, hair on the floor, hair on the couch....hair everywhere!  Yes, they were attracted to that long hair, but did they know that they were marrying a human version of a long hair cat?  Good thing my hubby isn't allergic to me :-)
2. Headaches.  If you thought that stress weighs on your head, try an additional few ounces of hair that constantly pulls on your scalp.  It is even worse if that bun or ponytail is placed on a particularly wrong location on the head for a long period of time...it doesn't hit you until it's too late.  Ugh....Calgon and Tylenol, take me away!
3. Kids pulling on your hair.  Once when I was swimming, my cousin pulled on my hair to get out from under water.  Perhaps, he was panicking and my hair was the closest thing to save him.  Or he was just ghetto.  In either case, kids are insensitive to things like your hair nerves.  Which may be a reason you have...  
4. The need to always tie hair back or up.  Moms, teachers, chefs, welders, etc....whatever your dangerous occupation, hair needs to be out of the way.  If only we could just lie around, being fed grapes, while our hair is allowed to flow freely, being pampered by conditioning fairies....
5. Split ends.  I have to admit it...hair is dead.  And the longer it is, the older and deader the ends are.  The hair fresh out of the follicles is shiny and bouncy while the hair at the ends is dry and frizzy.  During my free time at work, I used to take my scissors, look through my hair, and attempt to trim off my split ends.  It seemed like a never ending battle.  And then it was time to go to lunch.      

As you can see, these are a few of the reasons some people just haul off and cut off all their beautiful hair.  I dig it, I understand.  So, that's why I am here....to support you in your endeavor.  If you want your own long hair, you need to commit.  Commit to being as healthy as possible, so that your hair is in its best condition straight out the gate.  Eat healthy and take your vitamins.  You need to turn away from the hair magazines and salons that try to tempt you to get that new en vogue short cut.  You need to wait patiently as nature takes its course, through all the protecting and tying it up.  It will be worth it when you unleash that long hair upon the world.  You need to marry that hair.  I, Cherry, take you, Hair, to be a part of my being....to have and to hold until death or an accident with scissors do we part.  Ooh, that sounds serious.  But we can do it, y'all!  

Wefts, Weaves, and Wigs

I am a belly dance student that enjoys performing and watching performances.  And if there is one place that is a bastion of long hair, it's a belly dance event.  A belly dancer follows the image of most bare midriff characters (ie. genies and mermaids) which means long hair. But what was a dancer like me to do after donating my long hair?  Well, one thing that is great about belly dancers is that many who don't have long hair make do with fake dos.

My first venture into fake hair was the way of the weft.  A weft is a strand of hair connected to a clip.  These clips are clipped on close to the scalp under existing hair.  It is best if you have layered hair, which is why I had mine re-cut with layers in order to blend in with my wefts.  Though, that is why I had the Beatles/David Cassidy look without the wefts.  ANYWAY, here is what that looked like.

However, I had to put around nine clips in my head, which is quite irritating.  So, then, I got a ponytail, which is much easier to put in and is dramatically longer!  But, perhaps, obviously fake....

Recently, since my hair is growing out, I have allowed myself to get by with wearing my hair au naturale at performances.

There are many options that I haven't even tried, like these, which I have seen on a fellow dancer and it looks fantastic!  The wonderful thing about the availability of fake hair is that anyone can join in on the long hair fun.  I know that most of my blog is about growing out real hair, but some people have lost their hair or can't grow out their own hair.  So, wefts, weaves, and wigs....it's all good in my book!
        

The Middle Stage

If I had posted a couple of months ago, you would have seen a more former Beatles/David Cassidy look.  That's the thing about short hair on me...my hair is bone straight.  So, when it's not styled or curled, it just kinda looks...jagged.  And I just don't have the time or patience for all that fussing.  I miss the days when I would just wrap my hair on top of my head, throw it in a ponytail, or just wear it long, fresh out of the shower to let it air dry.  A long hair life....that's the life for me!

Some might say that the above pictured length is long.  Ooh nooo it ain't!  This is the middle stage.  Long hair for me is at least past my waist.  That length when my hair has a mind of it's own.  Like, all of a sudden I turn my head and something trails along and hits me on the side of my arm a few seconds later.  Or maybe hits someone next to me and I have to apologize.  Or when I can do the full Cher Bono flip; tilting my head down, turning my head to the right, and using my left hand to assist as my head turns to the left to fling my long tresses to the back.  Aaaah yes.  That's called long hair mentality....it's all those little behaviors that women with long hair take for granted.  It's a beautiful thing.

What do you like about your long hair?  Do share :-)

The George Michael Method

My friend, Amy, replied to my previous blog and mentioned the Morroco Method.  While I check this out, I thought I'd share the method that I've used for the last 8-10 years to grow and maintain my long hair, WHEN it was long...sniff sniff :'-(   Now we are getting down ta bidness!  The method I followed was the George Michael Method.  No, not George Michael, that totally awesome singer from the 80's and 90's, but Dr. George Michael, the long hair doctor.

According to Dr. George Michael, there are a few things to abide by while growing hair out.

1. All hair should be the same length.  Ideally, there are no bangs or extreme layers.  The idea is that whenever hair is cut shorter in one place than the other, the body sends nutrients to the shorter hairs, taking away nutrients from the longer hairs.  This would either slow long hair production or cause hairs to fall out.  A George Michael cut is one where the hair is mostly all one length, with a little rounding at both sides.
2. No coloring, blow drying, or harsh treatment of any kind.  Hair should be treated like fine silk.  When wet, it should only be gently combed from the bottom to the roots and air-dried.  Some people sleep with silk or satin pillow cases or put their hair in a silk cap while sleeping.  That's some serious hair care, y'all! 
3.  Daily brushing with a boar hair brush is good!  When dry, a good brushing with a boar hair brush will distribute the natural oils from your scalp to your hair and stimulate your hair follicles.  The recommended technique is to flip the head down and brush the underside really good, and then flip head back and finish brushing the rest.
4. Trim or "dust" hair every 3 or so months.  The George Michael trim or "dusting" consists of twisting small sections of hair to expose only the split ends and trimming those off.  After that, a final trim to even everything out. 
5. Get a treatment done every 6 months or as needed.  The George Michael treatment is a deep-conditioning protein treatment which rebuilds the hair so that you can grow your hair longer and stronger.  If you don't have a George Michael salon in your area, they also have a 12-minute deep conditioner that you can do at home.  But it's great to get this treatment done.  It takes 3 hours and you can't wash your hair afterwards for 3 days as it continues to work on the structure of your hair.  It is kind of like a perm in that it is a chemical treatment, but it replenishes your hair's structure.  

What is remarkable about finding a stylist who knows the George Michael method is that you know your hair will not be chopped off when you go to the salon.  Much of your length will be preserved as you are trying to grow your hair out.  You might think your hair is super damaged and needs to be cut, but you will be surprised at how much can be saved by the George Michael trim and treatment.

Below is a video I took a few years ago at the George Michael salon I found here in San Diego (excuse my goofiness and sheer lack of selfie video skills)!  So far, I know there are George Michael salons also in Beverly Hills, New York, and Fairview Park, OH!  If anyone knows where any more are located, or wants to correct my information above, please post a comment!

     
 

You're my obsession....

If you have long hair, I see you.  Creepy?  Of course.  Female or male, I am secretly admiring your hair.  "Ah, look at how their hair flips around as they turn their heads," I think.  It's all I see.  Especially in San Diego, we have our share of beachy guys and gals with long, flowing, mermaid hair.  I don't care if it's sunbleached, crazy-colored, or just plain fake.  I am envious.  I confess.

Last year, I did the honorable thing and donated my hair for Lent.  My daughter warned me "this is how you are going to be," and she continued to make a sad face, complete with a bit of a whine.  But I didn't listen.  In addition to that, cutting my hair was not all altruistic.  My hair was doing weird things after I gave birth in 2011.  A lot had fallen out, and a lot was trying to grow back in.  It drove me nuts.  I knew I couldn't keep it.  So, I figured that if I was going to have shorter hair, I might as well donate it to a good cause.  So I did.  And everyone was proud of me.  And I dug my do for awhile.



But now, I am in what most ladies call, the dreaded "middle stage":  not short enough to be considered stylish, not long enough to be considered admired.  Kiiinda... meh.  So I am on a mission.  I have a goal....to grow my hair out yet again.  And I'm going to be asking EVERYONE for help.  Can't wait to get everyone's input!